Hello dear Reader,
I’ve been missing you.
I recently received this New Year’s greeting from my former Rabbi, (from back in my Montreal days) Leigh Lerner and his dear wife Loren. I really miss him as a Rabbi, but am blessed to still have him as a dear friend. Voila:
It was these wonderful, wise words in his New Year’s card that triggered all that follows here, & is now landing on you. I pray you are cool with that, because, if you receive these posts, I think of you as my dear friend too.
I’ve been trying very hard lately to summon the “clarity of vision” (as Leigh wishes for us), to see, digest and appreciate the good stuff that happens all the time, and will in 2020 too. How are you doing with that? Not so easy, particularly these days, and certainly not only for me.
Which, because he understands this very well, is likely the very reason he chose these particular words for his new year’s message this year.
Of course, I do understand that for me, and others, like me, who struggle with depression, it’s a greater challenge to look for and find the sun because the dark days & happenings appear to me even darker than they appear to many others.
Of course, the principal source these days, of the endless tsunami of “news” (Is news what this stuff is?) about all the discouraging and incomprehensible (to me) behavior of the humans – comes at us from this recent addition to our lives that we call the “internet”.
Tell me dear reader, I’d really like to hear from you on this:
What is your deep-down honest opinion, from your heart about the internet up until now now?
Do you believe and feel that tech overall, particularly the internet, has been good or not good, of benefit or not, for us, the humans? And why?
If you were obliged to choose either a yes or no answer (and weren’t allowed to wimp out with something like – “well, it’s both”), what’s your response?
To me, it feels like this: Up until maybe 300-400 years ago, if I was an ordinary person, (not Marco Polo, or a “Silk Road” trader, or a “Crusader”) the only “regular news” I might hear about would be from a few farms over – who was born, who got married, who died – that kind of stuff. And perhaps, once in a while, that the king died or the country was at war (with whoever it was this time), because they came to get my son.
But now, in only a blink of “Darwin” time”, I get to be confronted with EVERYTHING, that’s happening EVERYWHERE…IMMEDIATELY. (Lucky me!!).
If a little girl in India is raped and murdered and burned by a mob, I know it right away.
If a nutcase anywhere in the world is told by “his” God to throw a bomb in a marketplace and kill hundreds of people who worship the “wrong” God, the NY Times emails me not only that I “need to know“ this, but I get the additional bonus of seeing him and his fans, thanking “their” God, praising this murderer’s wisdom and his courage and celebrating him on his way to heaven, martyrdom, (and how many virgins?).
When the Russians and Syrians bomb hospitals, the pictures of the dead doctors and kids are in my face instantly, along with the blood – gotta have the blood yes? (“If it bleeds, it leads”).
So, what’s a fellow to do?
Well first, cut back on the suffering – at least the part I do have control over: I never “tweeted”, I quit Facebook two years ago (don’t miss it at all BTW), ditto Huffington Post. And now, in my “new year’s” quest for “clarity of vision”, (Thanks Leigh!), I’m gonna quit my online subscriptions to the NY Times, Washington Post, & The Guardian.
But, because I don’t want to “bury my head in the sand” (do ostriches really DO that??), our daily SF Chron, and the PBS News Hour (both actual news) should be quite enough for me.
Next, I have to find a way, a “container” of some kind, to handle, digest and file all the negative stuff that still “gets through”. Of course it’s gotta be the right kind of container, and it definitely has to be big enough. Otherwise, I’ll be needing more time, lots more time – maybe another 25,000 or so years to evolve my brain.
You’ll like this: There’s a lovely fellow in these parts: a smart, wise, funny, (quirky too), author (6 books I think), radio commentator, comedian (yeah really, comedian too), and a Buddhist teacher (yet another JUBU BTW). His name is Wes Nisker.
In a recent Dharma talk at Spirit Rock he correctly pointed out that our famous (thinking) “neocortex” brain that we humans are so proud of, is simply perched on top of our reptilian (the basics brain) and our mammalian (emotions brain), and all it only really does is “make up excuses” for the out of control behavior of the two brains underneath.”
He points out too, that in this 13 billion (that’s Billion with a B) years old universe, that we are the “Johnny-Come-Lately” species – the babies, who really couldn’t even be “tried as adults”.
All this is the visible mayhem. Now add all the Machiavellian manipulation of news, people’s minds, the lies, and the sinister efforts from a growing number of very bad actors who, (either for the money or the power) are working very hard to make it impossible for anyone to know what the “truth” is, or even means. (George Orwell wasn’t off by too many years.)
By now, it’s clear to you what my own personal struggle is with the internet and all this tech:
I ask myself: “In what way(s) is my life, my real life, better now? In what way(s) am I happier?”
“Is ‘progress’ Facebook? Cambridge Analytica? Google? Is real progress really happening? What IS ‘human progress‘ anyway? Is this it?
Dear readers, by now you know me, (some of you very well). I love people. I do. Being with people lights me up – brings me alive, most especially in places, ways, and numbers small enough for real connection to happen.
It’s the species, our behavior as a species, which causes me to slide in and out of “despair”, which I reckon must be a “sin” of sorts because despair leads to “What….ever…” And I don’t want to go to “I don’t care” land.
I’ve never asked any fundamentalists (Jewish or other) how they imagine that the Bible, containing the actual word of God, (in this example Genesis 1:28), got written down, and by who.
Perhaps (S)he dictated it or sent it as an “attachment” of some kind (bolt of lightning maybe?) to a reliable human scribe who knew exactly where and how to post it so that it would survive eternally. (Do ya think?)
I reckon you are familiar with these words:
“God blessed them and said to them, ‘Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.’”
For me, these words, cooked up by humans with an agenda, are the “starting gun“: – they enable, make OK, even necessary, all the killing of our creator’s impossibly unlikely, truly miraculous, unimaginably beautiful, gifts to us – which we continue to trash knowingly. Thus, the consequences for our species, towards which we are marching like lemmings – eyes wide open, minds in denial – appear inevitable.
If I’m lucky, my reward will be finding the “container” that I’m looking for – as the reward for my successful mission to let go, which is my (and all of our) toughest job of all, the difficult but necessary work of a lifetime.
But letting go of what? Well, of the way it needs to be – Michael’s way…..DUH!!!
Where did we humans get this notion that everything that has brought us to today, since our creator sparked the universe 13 billion years ago -that ALL of this– has been about, and done, for US? Really?
And if we humans are just a blip in the total scheme of things, why do we believe it’s so necessary and important for our species, above all the others, to continue? Says who? And to the benefit of whom? And, after these results to date? Pure Chutzpah!
Our creator, nevertheless, with limitless patience, is kindly offering us the warnings (this time it’s climate change), to which we imagine we are entitled. (S)he is saying:
“Look boys and girls, I have created countless species – (the four legged, two legged, one legged, not to mention those that fly and swim), many of which are the very reason that you yourselves still exist today, which I also have the responsibility to take care of. On top of which, I like my work better than yours!”
“Plan A” was for you, in a spirit of gratitude and wonder, to look after and protect them. But it appears that I goofed. I was mistaken to trust you with the job.
“But now, I really do need to know. Are you in, or are you out? I have to clean up your mess (“Plan B”), and I will.
It’ll take some time though – maybe a million years? Maybe two? For me, no problemo!
“But, I’ve got news! You are the ones with the time problem, not me. You just need to decide pretty soon and let me know (by what you do, or don’t do), because as a few (way too few, BTW) of you may have noticed, I’ve already begun taking action. Perhaps you’d like to take a vacation?”
Another example, (easier for me than this last one) to digest: Where is it written that this place/entity we call the “USA” needs to “succeed” or continue, even though we care greatly, and are rightly upset about what’s going on here? As we all know, republics, empires, dynasties have been coming and going for millennia. (“A republic madam, if you can keep it” – Ben Franklin). What makes our particular republic so special?
Dear reader, I admit that thinking like this, and working to let go at this level is hard, but truthfully, although it pains me greatly, it also offers me quite a bit of comfort.
Letting go of $$, my “possessions” (Ha! What DO we actually “possess”?) & even my life, has been wayy easier. On that stuff, I’m pretty much already there.
Needless to say, hardest of all for me (and for every one of us I’m sure), is making peace with being obliged, someday, to let go of my precious loving bride, amazing daughter, and wonderful friends. But, that’s the reality of the life we’ve been so generously gifted with. We all must prepare to do that – a big mistake to hide from or postpone this work.
Of course, none of this absolves me of my responsibility to take action, and to help where, what and how I can, on the things that are most meanigful to me. So I do and will.
But (as the Buddhists keep reminding me to do), it does help to really “groc” in my heart, (my body, & not only my neocortex), that nothing, nothing, is permanent.
With this understanding, I reckon I can recognize & train myself on the less important things, and confidently permit my creator to continue looking after most important stuff, with the peace of mind that (S)he will.
Dear Reader, I think I’d better leave you alone now, because if you are still reading this, I may have imposed too greatly on our friendship. You have already been so very patient. Thanks & Blessings!
Until next time, please take care of, and be kind to, yourself.
Metta,
Michael
“What, in this moment,
is lacking?”
Zen parable
Practice Tip:
Thought I’d share with you a song (one of my faves) from beautiful Leonard, so very important in my life, and who has recently headed home. It’s about how he coped with with all the bad “news”. It inspires and comforts me. I pray that it may serve you too. Have a listen!
