New Eyes
“So Michael, even if some of these pressures and issues are on my mind, how is coaching going to help me sort through all this?”
Well, firstly and very, very important, your work with a coach is not about “fixing” you. You’re not broken. Nor is it about getting even more advice (which you are doubtless getting plenty of already from a million directions), which actually is part of the problem, (isn’t it?)
It’s about working with someone in a relationship, which you and your coach will establish, of mutual confidence and trust, and which will support you to focus – to sort through the jumble of information, media, mixed messages and choices. Knowing you are being listened to and heard completely, without judgment or opinions, by someone you trust, empowers you to share your thoughts and explore your options without fear.
You will go inside yourself, seek and find out who you are and gain clarity about that, so you can move forward confidently.
Specifically, right at the beginning, we talk – while you lay out (and I get) what you want the purpose of our work to be. We want to get clear on your goals: “why I am doing this.” This is your “coaching topic” so to speak, identified and articulated by you (with my help). We make sure we are on the same page about all this. We need to know that we are working towards something clearly definable, and not only having nice chats (although excellent, honest conversation is very, very important part of the coaching process).
After we’ve talked once or twice at length, I’ll assess for you what I think might be going on, what (if anything) may be in your way, and offer you some tools, (practices/ exercises) which can serve you, and which you will take on, if you agree.
As we move through our journey, we need to know if we are moving towards (and not away from) your goals…”how’re we doin’?” And so, (also up front), we will identify and describe our projected outcome(s) - specifically, what success will look (and feel) like to you. Otherwise, how will we know when we’re there?
And for me? Success means leaving you self- generating and self- correcting (meaning not to need me any more). In short, my goal is to get fired by you.
“If you don’t get it from yourself, where will you go for it”? Alan Watts
Everything you need, everything that you are looking for the answers to, is already right there, inside you, and not outside you, (really). It’s not with some “expert, guru, or “maven”.
Of course, it’s essential to seek out, get hold of, and carefully consider, all of the information, the facts you need to make informed, sensible, healthy choices. Absolutely, you need to do that.
“The real voyage of discovery consists…in having new eyes.” Marcel Proust
But, having done all that, the actual answers come from within you. They come from within, because you have done the work of listening carefully to yourself, honestly observing yourself in your own life, and have paid attention to your actions, thoughts and feelings. You now know yourself. The right choices for you flow from that.
“Your work is to discover your work, and then with all of your heart to give yourself to it.” The Buddha
And if, after having had the courage to make your voyage of honest self discovery, and after taking a stand for yourself, you do discover work that challenges you, lights you up and (maybe even) does some good in the world, well, wow!! Congratulations!! – You have found more than a career, you have found a calling. How cool is that!!
Then, you take action. You actually do it!
Your coach supports you in all this.
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